Cutting Myself Off — How I Deal with Anger

In the past few weeks, I’ve had some family issues come up that have been rather troubling.  In fact, they are the majority of the reason I haven’t been posting as often as I’d like, because these problems have made me very sad, and I’ve always had a hard time reconciling how to deal with sadness and anger and not let it absorb my daily life.

So, like I always do, I allowed these issues to completely consume me for a few days.  My husband tried to humor me at first, but the depth of my obsession made him pull away after the first 24 hours.  The family members I was arguing with kept coming back with their  defenses so quickly that I felt astounded at how they could justify their actions and had to sever the conversation or I was going to say something I really regretted.  I couldn’t say anything to anyone else about the issues, because that would betray an innocent party and propagate malicious rumors.  

I felt consumed by hate.  I felt consumed by bitterness. I felt consumed by injustice. And as I sorted through these emotions and cursed those that I felt abandoned me, I realized why my husband had withdrawn.  He felt the exact same way as I did about the way the situation happened, but his coping mechanism is the exact opposite.  While I hold everything close to my heart and force myself to relive each hurt until I’ve been able to process the emotional trauma, he pushes everything far away so he doesn’t have to deal with it at all.

Now, seriously, both methods have some serious drawbacks.  But I envy him his method.  Why? Because mine involves a lot of emotional roller coaster riding, where no one wants to talk to me and I feel like a crazy woman for a few days.  Thankfully things like this happen rarely, because I always feel so alone until I’m over it, but I’m always amazed when I emerge at how many people are there to love me and show me comfort.

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Cut Off.

Advertisements

One thought on “Cutting Myself Off — How I Deal with Anger

  1. Hi, i can totally relate to what you are talking about; trust me burying your feelings is not the way to go. Try writing down all the qualities of the person you are having a conflict with; then see how many of them relate to you, or you have big issues about their qualities. Putting too much energy into particular qualities about a person will attract them to you!!!
    Once you look at the qualities of the person and compare them with your own; you may find that they are just mirroring back to you that which you do not like about yourself!!!
    To understand how to cope with conflict you need to know the difference between EMOTION and FEELING; they are two totally different things; once you separate them you can get a handle on how to resolve issues. Anger is just an emotion burying a feeling; feelings are; rejection, powerless; hopeless; guilt; disappointment and so on; Anger; rage; and crying are EMOTIONS. Next time you feel angry try and sit quietly somewhere and feel the anger; allow it to get as big as it wants, then let it dissipate and see what feeling comes up under the anger; because there is always a resisted feeling under the anger. Once you LABEL the feeling properly; then experience it and let it dissolve completely until there is NO more energy on the upset. If it will not dissipate then you have not LABELED it correctly; keep labeling until you hit the right one; you will know when that happens. This is not always easy to do on your own; however it is not impossible; usually it takes an experienced practitioner to help you. Anyway try it and see how you go; good luck, LOL Murray
    PS Sorry about the rave but i can not help myself some times; it is a very simple process; but not always easy!!!

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s