Word Association: A Half Pair of Scissors

A half pair of scissors.  A half pair of scissors?!? That is called a knife, or a blade! There is no point in a half pair of scissors.  A half pair of scissors could never beat paper!

But seriously, can someone explain to me how paper beats rock?  It covers it, how is that beating it? And don’t tell me paper can smother rock to death, that’s just stupid.  It seems to be that rock should conquer all, because it can crush scissors and grind paper.  If you want something to beat rock, you need to throw dynamite in the mix.  When a person chooses dynamite they can start there hand off in a fist, like they are choosing rock, but then open their fist wide, wiggling their fingers around to simulate the explosion.  Kapow!  It could introduce some serious sound effects into the game as well.  Just think about it, you’ll see.

But back to our half a pair of scissors. The concept just feels like an exercise in futility.  It actually makes ,e feel a little sad and lonely.  I’m picturing this girl trying to cut a piece of paper by dragging the single blade over and over and over again.  Eventually the paper will cut I suppose, but it won’t be a clean cut and it will take her so much longer than if she had just had a full pair of scissors.  She looks so sad and alone and frustrated, and well angry dammit.  Because who in the hell thought that it was acceptable to expect her to cut this paper with half a pair of scissors?  Who thought that was fair? And what must there opinion be of her, if they think she should be given this asinine task?  What assholes!

Well she’ll show them! She is not cutting one more piece of paper and if anyone complains she will take them exactly where they can shove that half a pair of scissors!  She deserves respect! She is intelligent, and useful and has so much more to offer this world than cutting paper with half a pair of scissors!  She has opinions, and a voice and she will be heard!  

No one deserves a half pair of scissors.

This rant from nowhere has been in response to Word Association #1. I actually feel much better now that I’ve exposed the injustice of making an imaginary girl complete an imaginary task with an imaginary faulty tool.  Guess I needed to let off some steam…

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